Gifts from our Journals

Write in a journal long enough, and you’ll eventually earn some interest on your deposits.

I’ve been scribbling in journals since 1994. And seeing as I burn through a 200-page notebook in the same time it takes me to sand down a pair of running shoes (every two months or so), I must have close to 120 old ones lying around.

From time to time, I’ll pick one up and read it. Just to remind myself what I was thinking at a particular time.

Every now and again I’ll come across a nice turn of phrase, maybe even something I can use in a future story. For instance, I just found the line “she had sunburned cheeks, the colour of squashed plums.” It’s a bit florid, but you never know, I may use it someday.

Occasionally I’ll come across something that I’m not 100% certain that I wrote. For instance:

“Family is like a staple in your heart. It hurts like hell. But it holds us together.”

Usually when I steal a line from someone else, I’ll attribute the source. But in that case, I didn’t credit anyone. Does that mean I wrote those great lines myself?

Possible, but not likely. I was sorely tempted to use those lines in my soon-to-be-published book, but in the end, I didn’t trust that it was mine, so I left it out.

Sometimes, while sniffing through old journals, I’ll come across an unexpected surprise. I have no idea why I was thinking about fables in 2009, but here’s what I wrote in September of that year:

One day Cricket was tired. Turtle was passing by, and so she let Cricket climb onto her back. Turtle swam through the water, which made Cricket very excited. The waves! The sunshine! The sense of adventure!

In gratitude, Cricket bent his legs, and sang a song for Turtle. Turtle pulled up onto the shore, and sat there awhile, listening to the beautiful music. Turtle fell in love with Cricket’s song, and the pair stayed together for many years. They were very happy, what with Cricket singing songs, and Turtle ferrying the two of them back and forth across the river.

One day, Turtle dug a hole and lay an egg. When the egg hatched, a funny-looking creature popped out. It sang songs like a cricket, and had long legs which it used to jump. But it loved to swim through the water with webbed hands and feet.

And that is how Frog came into the world.

Again, I didn’t attribute it to anyone. Does that mean I actually wrote it myself? Or did I hear it told aloud at a storytelling event, or from a child, and rush home to share it with my journal?

I can’t be sure. I don’t remember. So if anyone recognizes this story, please let me know.

The Re-write Blues

Rewriting a novel is like arriving at your new apartment right after the movers have dropped off all your stuff. Everything you need is in that huge mountain of boxes, only you have no idea where.

Yikes.

Making matters worse, your apartment is full of odd-shaped rooms. Where will the sectional look best? What about the treadmill?

You want to move the credenza into the living room, but you sense it’s too wide, and you’ll just end up dragging it back to the bedroom.

And that’s only one of a hundred items. It’s very easy to feel defeated.

There’s only one way to get started: grab a box and start unpacking. What that box is finished, grab another. And then another. And then another.

Eventually, you’ll figure out where everything belongs. And your rooms will fill up and begin looking like home.

Trust the process. Trust yourself.

Personal Running Hero #39:

Death Valley + Darth Vader + 131 degrees farenheit. Doing the mile in 6:38:

What I Learned from Sand in the Knees

I went for my first-ever run on my 30^th birthday. It thought it would be fun, but it turned out to be the opposite.

No, this is not me. Way too buff.

I decided to jog to a bridge 10 kilometers from my family cottage. Big mistake. By the time I reached my destination, it felt like someone had unscrewed my kneecaps, poured sand into the holes, and then screwed my kneecaps back on.

Also: each time I took a breath it sounded like a family of mice was playing accordions inside my lungs.

I’d made the classic beginner’s mistake of going out too hard, too soon.

At least I was running in a beautiful place. Lake Kennisis, Ontario – a place I’d write a novel about one day. But pretty scenery doesn’t make running any easier. Nor do hills the size of the CN Tower.

After that first run, I didn’t lace up my sneakers for a week. But running is a bit like eating olives. You’ve got to try a few before you discover that you love them.

After 100 miles

There I am, years later, after learning how to run properly. My knees still hurt a bit after hard efforts, but nowhere near as much as they did that first day. As for that family of accordion-playing mice, I evicted them from my lungs years ago.

This is a blog about how a lazy guy (me) went from being a non-runner to a serious writer, and also from being a non-writer to an Ultra author.

And hopefully it’s a blog about how you can do the same.

An Ultra-Challenge for July

Of all the months, July is THE BEST. July is like hitting a bunch of green lights in a row. It’s better than the smell of crayons. It’s the Justin Timberlake of months.

I usually take the whole month off, rent a cabin surrounded by hills and trails, and just run. Last year, near Collingwood, I logged 347 miles on the Bruce Trail. The July before that, I covered 316 miles in the Haliburton Forest. The July before that I managed, well, only 272 miles, but that’s because I was running up and down mountains in France.

Running up “The Canigou” – near Perpignan, France

This July, I’ve set an even BIGGER challenge. In addition to running 12 miles per day, I’m determined to write my second novel.

WHAT??? In a month? Who does he think he is – Stephen King?

Actually, I don’t have to write it from scratch. I wrote a first draft a couple of years ago, but then I set it aside, so I could work on my other book, which is, you know, actually getting published.

This July is the first chance I’ve had to go back to work on that other writing project. It’s a big, messy, 60,000-word turd right now, but I’m excited about polishing it into a diamond.

So every day this July, in addition to burning 1000 calories on the trail, I’m hoping to produce 2000 words. Words that glitter like spun glass, words that gleam like dragonflies in sunshine, words that shimmer like cobwebbed trees in summery skies…

Okay, I’ll stop now.

This July, I’m also planning to: eat 30 salads, drink 30 cups of coffee, watch 30 sunsets, take 30 naps, and watch zero television shows.

Wish me luck!

Your Running Playlist, part 8

This one’s in celebration of yesterday’s Supreme Court decision in the United States, which dramatically advanced gay rights in that country.

The Pet Shop Boys. With a song that feels like it was written for this moment:

At 87 beats per minute, it’s a bit of a waltz, but if you run two strides per beat, you’ll get a pretty good workout. And when that chorus kicks in at the 48- second mark… Oh man. Get ready to fly!

My First Book Interview

My novel is going to the printer TODAY. Synchronize your watches – it’ll be hitting the bookstores in ten weeks.

I had my first book interview today. Strange experience. I work for the media, so for years, I’ve been the one asking the questions, not answering them. Role reversal!

Still, it was fun to talk about these characters who’ve been making a racket inside my head for the last three years.

Here are the first five questions I was asked as an author:

Q: What is the best part of being an author?

I love that the gear is so cheap! If I wanted to be a professional snowboarder, I’d have to spend hundreds of dollars on equipment. The board, the boots, the bindings, the jacket… Pricey! But all an author needs is a pen and some paper. What does that cost – maybe $5?

Also, I never get hurt, writing books. That’s a definite plus for me. If I was a hockey player in the NHL, I’d probably get hit a lot. I’m a bit of a wimp when it comes to getting hit, so that wouldn’t be much fun. As an author, the worst thing that can happen is I get a paper cut.

The best thing about being an author, however, is that the job is dead easy. The alphabet only has 26 letters. So all I have to do is arrange those letters in such a way that they tell a good story. How hard could that be?

Q: What inspired you to write Ultra?

Five years ago, I did an insane thing. I entered a hundred-mile footrace. For 24 hours – all day and all night – I ran through a forest. Some runners saw bears along the route, and all through the night I heard wolves howling in the distance. It was a terrifying and exhausting experience. But when I crossed the finish line, my life had changed. I’d always thought it was impossible to run 100 miles in a day, but now that I’d done it, the whole world seemed different. I’d changed the goalposts of what I believed was possible. So I decided to try something else that I’d always thought was impossible – writing and publishing a novel. And voila!

Q: What was the hardest part of writing this book?

Deciding whether or not the main character, Quinn, should win the race. For the longest time, I had him crossing the finish line first. But then I decided that he shouldn’t win; that something else – something dramatic – should happen instead. So I rewrote the ending. But then I gave the book to family members to read, and they complained about the ending. So I rewrote it again, and then again.

I went back and forth, rewriting that ending for a year. I can’t even remember anymore whether Quinn wins or loses the race. But I will say this. Most 100-mile races don’t give prizes to the winners. Usually the winner just gets a pat on the back, a warm blanket, and a bowl of vegetable soup. Almost nobody runs a 100-mile race in order to win. They do it for other, much stranger reasons.

Q: In what ways are you like Quinn, the protagonist in your book?

I share Quinn’s determination. Once I get an idea into my head, I’ll stick with it, no matter how much it hurts. That’s why I can run 100 miles in one go. Also, I love being outside, and I’m okay with being alone sometimes. I’m a bit of an introvert, and I think Quinn is too.

And finally, like Quinn, I have a really solid friend. And an amazing family that supports me – even when I do crazy things.

Q: What was your favourite book growing up?

“Swallows and Amazons” by Arthur Ransome. It’s about a group of kids who climb mountains and race sailboats and survive shipwrecks and explore the high English moors. Their parents are nowhere in sight, and the kids are always outdoors, facing the elements. My dad read that book aloud for my whole family when I was a kid. He’d read one chapter each night before bedtime, and the next morning me and my brother would race for the book so we could read on ahead.

“Swallows and Amazons” was the first in a long series, and Dad read us every single one over the course of a long, magical summer. And that’s saying something, since there are twelve books in the series, and each one is 350 pages long. Looking back, I think that experience cemented my love of reading. Dad reading those books out loud.

Amazing Human Tricks

Admit it – you can do a weird trick with your body. Maybe you can wiggle your ears, or crack your knuckles. Maybe you can change your eye colour at will.

We all have weird party tricks we can do with our bodies. A couple of years back, when I was producing a live comedy show, I met a guy who could fit his whole body through a tennis racquet:

The question arises – what good could it possibly do to squeeze your body through a tennis racquet while simultaneously juggling rubber balls?

Answer: it does you no good whatsoever. But hey, it’s fun! And you get to appear on live comedy shows.

My own personal trick is rather peculiar. I can talk backwards. Listen:

https://writerunrepeat.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/dave-talks-backwards-2.mp3

Actually, they never did invite me back.

But listen – in that radio show appearance, I only flipped the words in each sentence around, and repeated them back in the opposite order. Since then, I’ve learned that some people can actually speak backwards phonetically. That is to say, they can flip all the individual letters in each word around, and then pronounce them back-to-front.

Kind of like this girl:

OK, So You’ve Run Into a Bear. Now What?

A few days ago I wrote about running into bears while on the trail. It’s a daunting prospect, and there are lots of things you can do to prevent it from happening (like making lots of noise).

But suppose you do run into a bear. What then?

No single strategy is guaranteed to work in all situations, but you can minimize your risk by doing the following:

First, keep your distance from the bear and remain calm. Don’t run away. In most cases, if you make some noise, the bear will leave.

Don’t be surprised if the bear rises up on its hind legs. Bears are curious animals, and often stand up to get a better view, or to catch your scent. Back away slowly and speak in a firm voice.

A bear that swats at the ground, swings its head from side to side, snorts or huffs, pops its jaw, or bares its teeth is likely stressed and is asking for more space. Give it to him. Bears may also bluff their way out of an encounter by charging, then turning away at the last second. Stand your ground.

A bear that follows you, circles or cuts you off is likely displaying predatory behaviour. This is more common in black bears. Face the bear and act aggressively. Throw rocks and sticks.

If a Bear Charges:

If it’s a Black Bear, stand and fight. Grab the closest stick and bash him across the nose. Throw things. If you’re carrying bear spray, use it. Any of these actions may convince the bear to leave you alone.

If it’s a Grizzly Bear, play dead. Protect your face, and the back of your head and neck with your arms. The typical grizzly attack happens as a result of surprise, so non-aggressive behavior generally works.

Here’s an easy way to remember: If it’s black, fight back. If it’s brown, lie down.

The Skeleton in my Closet

Did I mention that I work for Canada’s public broadcaster?

It’s awesome. Not only am I surrounded by brilliant and spunky people, but I get to climb around in Casey and Finnegan’s tree-house every single morning.

But things are always changing at the CBC, and recently, due to budgetary challenges, it was announced that our (formerly commercial-free) national music service will soon begin airing 4 minutes of commercials per broadcast hour.

It’s a siesmic shift. Nobody wants commercials cluttering up the airwaves, but the possible alternatives (show cancellations? endless re-runs of dusty radio dramas? dismantling the transmitters and selling the iron for scrap?) would likely drive even more listeners away. So commercials it is.

I’m just hoping nobody learns about my past.

Back in my early-twenties, I wrote commercials for a small-town radio station. I could churn out anywhere between 20 and 25 thirty-second spots per day. I wrote radio ads for funeral homes, steak houses, furriers, gentlemen’s clubs, used car lots, you name it. I was shameless, and I had a special knack for writing slogans.

One day, however, my copywriting superpowers deserted me. The results were disastrous. Check out this slogan I wrote for a flooring company – a company with the unusual name of Feel Fooring:

“For floors with feeling, feel free to phone Feel Flooring.”

Yes, I actually wrote that sentence. Forgive me. It was the end of a long day, and I’d written 30 spots already. I was, as they say, out of juice.

Back in those days, once you’d written a commercial, you had to call up the client to get them to approve your copy. It could be a humiliating experience; reading your well-crafted commercial over the phone, and then having it ripped to shreds by some dude who sold, I don’t know, chain saws for a living.

As I read that goofy Feel Flooring spot over the phone, I kept thinking NO WAY is Mr. Feel Flooring going to go for this.

“For floors with feeling feel free to phone Feel Flooring.”

I gave it my very best delivery. And to my shock and horror, the copy was approved! The commercial began running the very next day.

If you lived in the greater Espanola area during the early nineties, and spent any time listening to the radio, then I sincerely apologise.

On the bright side, that commercial won me the employee-of-the-month award. 50 bucks!